In this video, we look at how sales is like dating to give us more clarity on what to do and not do when working in sales and pursuing prospects. Even if you aren’t an expert or experienced at dating, you can still use that as an external example to gain more clarity on what is going on and what is best to do when working in sales.
Prospects are like a woman at a bar
The first way sales is like dating is that prospects are like a woman at a bar: they attract a lot of men who want to talk to them. That will lead to her being approached by many men who try to start conversations with her. These men are trying to sell themself to her in a romantic way, and that is clear by their use of some sort of pickup line to break the ice. While many of these guys are out to meet somebody, this woman’s goal is more to have fun. That might involve meeting someone, but that is not her primary goal. With that, she is not in buying mode for what these guys are selling.
This is how sales is like dating: prospects also have a lot of salespeople who want to talk with them, which leads to them receiving a lot of calls and emails from salespeople trying to sell something. As with the woman at the bar, in cold outreach situations, the prospect’s interest and goal are to be successful, and with that, they are likely not in buying mode for what the salesperson is selling.
Cold outreach is approaching
This brings us to the next way sales is like dating: cold calling and cold emailing are like these guys approaching this woman at the bar. Because many men want to talk to her, she will be approached throughout the evening. Every time this happens, it is time-consuming and distracting from her goal of having fun. And because this happens a lot, whenever someone tries to talk to her and uses a pickup line, it triggers guardedness and makes her annoyed, making it more difficult for the conversation to go anywhere.
This is similar to how all salespeople reach out to and approach the prospects you are trying to sell to. Your prospects are being bombarded with calls and emails from salespeople trying to sell something. And just like the woman at the bar, this makes sales prospects guarded and annoyed. With that, the worst thing you could do with your cold outreach is say something that flags you as the next salesperson reaching out to sell.
Dating is a sales process
The next thing to discuss about how sales is like dating is that both use a sales process, whether you realize it or not. In the dating world, the first step in the sales process is usually a first date. With that, the first close is to ask someone out on a date. That is very similar to sales: the first sales process step is usually a meeting or appointment.
What is interesting is that while a meeting is the first step in sales, salespeople often close for the product in their cold calls and cold emails by asking if the prospect needs or wants the product they sell. And we can compare that to dating to show how big a mistake that is, because it’s equivalent to sending a message on a dating app asking if someone wants to be in a relationship, which is like asking if someone wants to buy the product.
Hopefully, you can see how ridiculous that would be in a dating scenario. And that should show you how ridiculous that approach is when prospecting. When you are in sales, sell the meeting, not the product, just as someone would ask someone out on a date and not if they want to be in a relationship.
Don’t be “all about me”
Another way sales is like dating is that, in both, you want to avoid being “all about me.” We talk about this a lot in sales, but when you look at it in a dating context, not only can you gain more clarity about what this looks like and why it is not good, but it might also help you see what you can do to avoid this mistake.
Try to picture a first date where someone only talks about his love for fishing, stories from his college days, and his work. How do you think the other person feels listening to all of this? While some of the individual stories might be very interesting, the other person can become less engaged and bored when the discussion is focused solely on one person’s interests and things. If the person who is being “all about me” simply shifted the conversation to the other person and the topics they are interested in, they would become more interesting and improve their ability to build relationships.
This is similar to what happens in sales scenarios like cold calls and sales appointments in that salespeople often talk primarily about their stuff – product, company, interests, etc. Just like dating, this can increase the likelihood that the prospects are bored and less engaged, leading to less rapport and fewer leads being generated. The solution to this problem is extremely simple: all the salesperson needs to do is ask good questions to make the conversation more about the prospect.
We hope looking at how sales is like dating can help you to have more clarity on how best to communicate with the prospects you are pursuing!
