In this video, we look at how sales is like dating to give us more clarity on what to do and not do when working in sales and pursuing prospects. Even if you aren’t an expert or experienced at dating, you can still use that as an external example to gain more clarity on what is going on and what is best to do when working in sales.
Prospects are like a woman at a bar
The first way that sales is like dating is that prospects are similar to a woman at a bar in that she will have a lot of men who want to talk with them. That will lead to her getting approached by many men who try to start a conversation with her. These men are trying to sell themself to her in a romantic way, and that is clear by their use of some sort of pickup line to break the ice. While many of these guys are out to meet somebody, this woman’s goal is more to have fun. That might involve meeting someone, but that is not her primary goal. With that, she is not in buying mode for what these guys are selling.
This is how sales is like dating in that prospects also have a lot of salespeople who want to talk with them, and that will lead to prospects receiving a lot of calls and emails from salespeople who are trying to sell something. Similar to the woman at the bar, in cold outreach situations, the prospect’s interest and goal is to be successful, and with that, they are likely not in buying mode for what the salesperson is selling.
Cold outreach is approaching
This brings us to the next way that sales is like dating and that is that cold calling and cold emailing are similar to these guys approaching this woman at the bar. Because there are a lot of men who want to talk to the woman, there will be many men who approach her throughout the evening. Every time this happens, it is time-consuming to deal with and distracting from her goal of trying to have fun. And because this happens a lot, whenever someone tries to talk to her and uses a pickup line, it will trigger guardedness and make her annoyed, making it more difficult for that conversation to go anywhere.
This is similar to all of the salespeople who reach out to and approach the prospects you are trying to sell to. Your prospects are getting bombarded by calls and emails from salespeople who are trying to sell something. And just like the woman at the bar, this makes sales prospects guarded and annoyed. With that, the worst thing you could do with your cold outreach is to say something that flags you as the next salesperson reaching out to try to sell something.
Dating is a sales process
The next thing to discuss about how sales is like dating is that both use a sales process, whether you realize it or not. In the dating world, the first step in the sales process is usually a first date. With that, the first close is to ask someone out on a date. That is very similar to sales in that the first sales process step is usually a meeting or appointment.
What is interesting is that while a meeting is the first step in sales, salespeople often close for the product in their cold calls and cold emails by asking if the prospect needs or wants the product they sell. And we can compare that with dating to show how big of a mistake that is because that would be the equivalent of sending a message on a dating app asking if someone wanted to be in a relationship as that is equal to seeing if someone wants to buy the product.
Hopefully, you can see how ridiculous that would be in a dating scenario. And that should show you how ridiculous that approach is when prospecting. When you are in sales, sell the meeting, not the product, just as someone would ask someone out on a date and not if they want to be in a relationship.
Don’t be “all about me”
Another way sales is like dating is that in both areas, you want to avoid being “all about me” in both scenarios. We talk about this a lot when talking about sales, but when you look at it in a dating context, not only can you have more clarity about what this looks like and why it is not good, but it might also help you see what you can do to avoid this mistake.
Try to picture a first date where someone only talks about his love for fishing, stories from his college days, and what he does for work. How do you think the other person feels listening to all of this? While some of the individual stories might be very interesting, the other person can become less engaged and bored when the discussion is only about one person’s interests and stuff. If the person who is being “all about me” simply made the conversation more about the other person and the topics they are interested in, they would immediately become more interesting and improve their ability to build relationships.
This is similar to what happens in sales scenarios like cold calls and sales appointments in that salespeople often talk primarily about their stuff – product, company, interests, etc. Just like dating, this can increase the likelihood that the prospects are bored and less engaged, leading to less rapport and leads being generated. The solution to this problem is extremely simple in that all the salesperson needs to do is ask good questions to make the conversation more about the prospect.
We hope looking at how sales is like dating can help you to have more clarity on how best to communicate with the prospects you are pursuing!