This is a video I have been wanting to create for years because when I receive cold emails and cold calls every day, I think about what 99% of salespeople do wrong. I will explain what that is and how to prevent or solve it in this video.


What Salespeople Do Wrong

All of the salespeople who reach out to me, I believe, are selling in a narcissistic way and being “all about me.” Before I go on, I want to specify that this applies more to salespeople who are doing cold outreach and trying to generate leads and get into new accounts.

To help explain my theory here, I went online to look up the definition of narcissistic and found this definition:

Definition: extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance : marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself

And while that might take us in the right direction, it is actually a little harsh for what I am trying to explain here. So I then looked at synonyms and found the term “self-absorbed,” which might fit better here with what 99% of salespeople do wrong. Here is the definition of self-absorbed:

Definition: absorbed in one’s own thoughts, activities, or interests


Salespeople Can Be Self-Absorbed

I believe that what 99% of salespeople do wrong is that they communicate and try to sell in a very self-absorbed way by being only focused on their own interests. To show this, let’s outline some of a salesperson’s main interests:

  • Talk about their product and company
  • Sell their product
  • Make commissions and money
  • Job security
  • Advance their career
  • Provide for their family

These are the things that a salesperson cares most about, and we can compare this to what most salespeople say in their cold email messages:

This is who I am.
This is who I work for.
This is what we sell.
This is what it does.
Do you need what we sell?

Of course, that is an oversimplification of what salespeople say in their cold email messages, but the majority of cold emails do follow that type of flow. And each of those points aligns with a salesperson’s interests. To show you that, let’s outline a prospect’s interests:

  • Talk about their product and company
  • Improve the performance of their company
  • Increase their income
  • Job security
  • Advance their career
  • Provide for their family

At first glance, the prospect’s interests look almost exactly the same as the salesperson’s. But while they align, they are actually completely different. For example, if you have kids and I have kids, we both have a deep interest in our kids. Which sounds like the same interest, but when you talk about your kids, you are not talking about anything that I have an interest in.


This Creates a Conflict

With what 99% of salespeople do wrong being to be self-absorbed and focus on their own interests, this creates more of a conflict type of setting when communicating with the prospect. To help explain what I mean by that, I looked up the definition of conflict, and here is what I found:

Definition: competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons)

From reading that definition, this is exactly what I think I feel on my side when I have self-absorbed salespeople reaching to me to talk about their own interests.