Here is a cold email example that I received from a salesperson that sells internet and connectivity services for a major telecom provider. Below is the actual cold email that he sent and after that will be some analysis and another cold email example that I created based on the feedback.

Subject Line:

[Salesperson’ Company Name] Business Fiber Available

Dear Michael,

My name is XXX and I am a Fiber specialist at XXX to assist clients with Fiber-based Internet access for Data and Voice services, SD-WAN, and Cybersecurity solutions. I am reaching out to see if you have time on your calendar for a brief call to discuss your current network configuration.

What is your availability sometime next week for a quick phone call? I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Best,

XXX
Sales Executive – Fiber Solutions
National Business

Prospects are Likely Not In Buying Mode
The only way this cold email example works is if I am in the process of looking at buying what the salesperson is selling because all his email does is tell me what he sells and then asks for a meeting. If I am not thinking about or needing what he sells, there is no motivation on my side to meet with him. Although, if I am in the process of looking into options in this area, the email will be received well and likely responded to. I believe you should design your cold emails around the assumption that the prospect is not currently in buying mode for what you sell.

Sell the Meeting, Not the Product
This cold email is a product selling sales message that focuses on selling the product. With that, he is trying to hit a very small target because the email will only connect with prospects that are in buying mode. If you simply focus the email less on selling the product and more on selling the meeting, you greatly increase the size of the target that you are trying to hit. It is also more logical to try to sell the meeting instead of trying sell the product because that is the next thing that is going to happen. This cold email example closes for the meeting, which is good, but before the close, the message is more focused on selling the product than selling the conversation.

Communicate Some Sort of Value
Since this cold email example uses more of a product selling sales message, it does not communicate any value at all in terms of how the salesperson can help the prospect or why the prospect would want to talk with him. All it does is state what the salesperson sells and then asks for a meeting. To improve that, focus on communicating how you can help the prospect in terms of improvements you can create or problems you can make go away.

Focus on Your Differentiation
With this particular salesperson, finding the value he offers may be a little more challenging because what he sells is a fairly commoditized product meaning most of his prospects already use something today and his product is likely similar to what the competition is selling.

With that being the case, he needs to look inward and identify how his service is different or better from the competition and communicate that as value. If he can’t figure that out, he will have a difficult time getting anybody to switch from who they are using today. I have never sold these services but for demonstration purposes for this cold email example, I will just assume that the way he is different is in the areas of lower prices and better service quality.

My Version of this Cold Email Example
With those suggestions being taken into consideration, here is my version of this cold email:

Subject Line: Decrease costs for internet, voice, and security

Hello Michael,

Reason for the email is that I help small businesses to decrease their costs in the areas of internet services and connectivity. Many of my clients are able to lower costs while improving the package and quality of services they use.

I don’t know if you are interested in improving those areas and that is why I am reaching out.

Are you available for a brief call where I can share some examples of businesses I have helped?

Best Regards,

XXX
Sales Executive – Fiber Solutions
National Business

I hope this cold email example gives you some ideas for how you can improve your cold emailing!

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